Lately these past months the Jesus has been trying to talk to me and helping me walk in the right foot steps. I have Narcolepsy and have used it as an excuse to do some things I am not proud of and ashamed to say. My family knows the struggles I have been through and how I felt about God and Jesus.
Because of my Narcolepsy I have repeat dreams that never end or never get solved. One example is one I had today while realizing on my bed. It started out as a dream of me trying to shape the world the way I think I would want it to be. I went from having four king kongs running around, to having a star wars civilization where apes were trying to take over to giving people different powers I thought would be fund to have, and ev en as far as the jetsons. It finally clicked in my head as to what was happening when my second to last dream happened. I dreamed that finally for tables of food that would replenish themselves and produce tables. Before that dream ended a woman told me amen for that, that’s when I realized that this is one of those many dreams I have where god is letting my take a swing at what he did in seven days. When I fell asleep again this time I turned on to my stomach and the dream started off with the people eating food. My mother was talking to me when I noticed the tropical trees that had grown and then I noticed someone walking around with a monkey on a leash. While I was talking to my mother asked for houses made from the material already around and that everybody had to love god and Jesus. But then I realized my mistake and said by choice they can love god and Jesus and again I got an agreement from another woman. Well when I asked for housing some kids found a water main and broke it and it was flooding around the area we lived and some of the building were falling apart, I undid the housing wish and was trying to figure out how to have the water for our use but out of the way. First I thought of to freeze the lake I realized no that’s not going to work cause if more water came it could melt then I thought of rain barrels. I thought no too short for all of this water, then I thought of totem poles for the water to be put in so we could drink from them. Not only did totem poles popup as the water went down but light poles and stairs popped up from the ground. Then walls came up around the middle forming mud buildings. I thanked god for the help and a friend of mine named devon came to me and wrapped her arm around me and in a very serious but sort of questioning tone asked, "God is good?". I said yes god is good, as I was waking up I saw her again but this time walking toward me with a walking stick in her hand dressed in robes. When I woke up I knew that god and Jesus are both talking to me and reassuring me of what I was feeling. This dream reminded me that even thought today I felt as if god and Jesus had abandoned me and no longer loved me. This dream proved that they are still watching out for me and are trying to help me through issues and blocks I have set up for myself.
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